i stole this off kyoko chan.

bold the things that apply.
01. I have a cell phone.
02. I'm obsessed with high heels.
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I am a shopoholic.
05. I love dangly earrings.
06. I am a libra.
07. I love beer.
08. I'm obsessed with MAC.
09. I can't live without lipgloss.
10. I can't live without music.
11. I lived in Italy for 2 months.
12. I spend money i don't have.
13. I'll be in college forever.
14. I've seen Jason Mraz 6 times.
15. I get annoyed easily.
16. I eventually want kids.
17. I love NSYNC.
18. I have more than a couple horrible memories.
19. I am addicted to Disney
20. I am a person.
21. My first kiss was when I was 18. And it was in Rome.
22. I start film school in February.
23. I love taking pictures.
4. I [dislike] girls who are fake.
25. I can be mean when I want to.
26. My dreams are bizzare.
27. One of my best friends is gay.
28. I have way too many purses.
29. I've seen Fight Club at least 45 times.
30. I dress how I feel that day.
31. I love Sex and the City.
32. Sometimes I cry for almost no reason.
33. I [dislike with a passion] when people are late
34. I procrastinate.
35. I love winter.
36. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
37. I love to sleep.
38. I wish I were smarter.
39. I'm afraid of flying.
40. I [dislike with a STRONG passion] drama.
41. I am addicted to The O.C.
42. I love my hair.
43. I never fight with my parents.
44. I love the beach.
45. I have never had the chicken pox. [can't actually remember.
46. I'm excited for the future.
47. I can't control my emotions.
48. I can't wait till New Year's.
49. I love the show 'Rich Girls'.
50. I love my friends.
51. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
52. I can be very insecure sometimes.
53. I have never broken a bone.
54. I [dislike] racist people.
55. I hate my computer.
56. I love guys that play the guitar. [depends]
57. I state the obvious.
58. I'm a happy person.
59. I love to dance.
60. I love to sing.
61. I hate cleaning my room.
62. I tend to get jealous very easily.
63. I love cute underwear.
64. I love John Mayer. [not LOVE, but like him]
65. I cry when I see animals/people getting hurt/abused.
66. I want to go to Greece.
67. I don't like to study for tests.
68. I love God.
69. I am too forgiving.
70. I have a horrible sense of direction.
71. I love high school.
72. I have a talent of sweet-talking my way out of things.
73. I'm a daddy's girl.
74. I love kisses on the forehead.
75. I love the color pink.
76. I love to sew.
77. I have green eyes.
78. I love the Olsen Twins.
79. I played soccer for 14 years.
80. I become stressed easily.
81. I [strongly dislike] liars.
82. I like comfy sweatpants.
83. Paul Walker is my dream guy [oh yerr i can't believe they have this option. BUT HELL YERR!]
84. I love the smell of asfault after it's rained.
85. I love my family.
86. I hate needles.
87. I am a perfectionist.
88. I always wanted to learn to play the drums.
89. I hate the feeling of failure.
90. I am still a virgin.
91. I would love to have my own fashion line.
92. I can be quite selfish.
93. I still act like a little kid.
94. Above all, I despise dishonesty. [not above ALL]
5. I love pictures.
96. I love music.
97. I wish I were more motivated when it comes to school.
98. I love getting stuff in the mail.
99. I have problems letting go of people.
100. I hate the feeling of being alone.

hmmm o_O;;;. holy SCHMO. i have a lot of thoses bolded o_O;;;.

hmm i might be coming back here =//. i'm not sure. i want to use this one as a more of a photolog because i find it pain in the ass to update it at utsukushii. but then again, i don't know if i can handle both sites. i mean i should be able to because the workload as decreased by a whole heap. but knowing my laziness i don't know if i will keep it up XDD. knowing me i probably neglect one and that might as well be as good as never starting here again ROFL.

hmm i don't want to kill off my utsukushii. i actually really like blogging there. but i like tabulas too soo yer. i guess i'll just have to make up my mind whether to keep posting here or not. i don't really expect anyone to read it though HO HUM.

i feel like ranting. i don't know why. but there's nothing to rant about =/. i feel like crying. i don't know why. but there's nothing to cry about. i feel like talking to someone and having a really good constant conversation to someone but no one is online. and i haven't been able to talk to someone properly for a long time. i miss all my friends, i miss school. i wouldn't mind going to school and doing work IN school but i just hate homework.

i think i have something bottled up inside me expect i don't know what it is. its not an emotion i can actually identify ? it feels like something is missing and i'm wanting something but no matter what i just can't get it. or i've lost something or given something away. or i feel like i'm being betrayed. what is happening =/.

i read sisi's blurty about wanting to be pretty. well i feel the same way. the society, the people, every fucking thing is just so superficial. i know its bad, i know nothing should rely on looks. yet i let myself be caught up in the hurricane, wanting to be someone i'm not. wanting to be someone better on a superficial scale. wanting to look like someone else so the world can be a bit more interesting. btw, did you catch the sarcasm in that last sentence -_-;;;;.

and i keep on going about people i hate. i just hate so many FUCKING people i think there's something wrong with me. i can't stand people, i think they're annoying, i wish they were fucking dead and i wish i don't know them or i have never met them. i think i'm srsly turning into an introvert. i don't know what the fuck is with everything. but somehow i think i know the reason behind this or who made me like this. and i blame that person or those people and i will never forget and forgive. so maybe i'm a bad christian. i'm a shit christian. but i don't care anymore, i really can't.

i remember how i used to be so geniunely happy. but nowadays i'm just fake happy. i put on that smile and pretend nothing is wrong. but inside my feelings are being more distorted and wacked up while on the outside i'm just happy, rebellious, bitchy lora who never is down or depressed. well that's blarrdy wrong. i remember in year 8 ? 9 ? when i was so happy that i was claimed to be filled with happy juice. it must have been overused in this years because the cup has now been drained, dried up. its all shrivelled up and there's no more moist left anywhere.

i know i'm not a nice person. i TRY to be. i TRIED to be. and failuer after failure has just left me hopeless. i'm not going to be nice because i find it too bloody hard. trying to see on different perspectives of everything confuses me and then my first instincts are lost and i don't know what i think anymore. i've grown so much weakers these days. and sadly to say the only way i can feel that little bit stronger is being mean and fucked up to everyone.

i feel really sorry. i do. i have no patience with anyone anymore. i can't even talk to anyone anymore. the happiest time is when i'm watching some taiwanese or korean drama or anime because i can just forget about life and everything and be absorbed into these unrealistic stories in that little box in front of me. its such a good distraction, even if it makes me happy only for a little while.

now thats all came out i feel loads better. *SIGH* by tomorrow morning i bet all this will be forgotten and i'll be behind that mask again. lying to myself.

thanks to emiri chan [mum] i'm addicted to marmalade boy ! i know it's pretty old and stuff but the anime is SOOO good >_<;;. yu matsuura is SOOO hot aiyoosh >_<;;. *falling in love with an anime* i'm still on disc 1 of part 1 but right now i love it so much ^_^. ginta suou is a fucking git. HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM. *kills him* no offence of any fans of him XDD. *runs around to watch more marmalade boy*

*sigh* i cleaned up my msn list. deleted everyone who i hated and didn't want to talk to =]. everyone who annoys me and bothers me and makes my life just that little bit more difficult ^_^. i'm so happy right now =DDD. i can't see those people and i won't be bothered by them. and they won't bother me because i've blocked them rofl ^_^;;;. i've never really felt so carefree since beginning of this year. everything is super ureshii.

i don't have photoshop on my computer yet which is a bit annoying =/, but when i get it i want to start making some marmalade boy avatars. i really want to see the drama as well. it has ken from f4 in it >_<;;;;. to bad i don't actually like ken X_X;;; i like vic and jerry. *SIGH* =33 and i'm not a fan of stell ng [plays miki koishikawa in the drama] either o_O;;. i just think they should get better looking people to play the roles so they live up to their anime counterparts ROFL. i really want to read the manga as well. it seems really good >_<;;. *dies*

on the other hand how can i allow myself to think about anime, manga and dramas =/. i still have a pile of work to do.

___ finish off english macbeth worksheets
___ collect quotes and read study guide book from library
___ finish highlighting macbeth notes from teacher
___ finish off one science sheet and tape or glue sheets in ready for inspection at the start of term
___ study for "the sydney basin" topic test
___ complete srp [no way NEAR it]
___ start history assessment
___ start wide reading assignment *DIES*
___ finish macbeth essay which i haven't done from LAST term

arggh 9 bloody things to do. and everything's being piled up >_<;;;. BLERGH. i hate the education system. *stab stab stab*

i didn't put a title for this entry, because to tell the truth i have no idea what the fuck the entry is going to be about -_-"". i just woke up and expect emiri chan* at my house in about half an hours time. she's coming over so i can decide what she's going to wear to the cruise tmr ^o^. so excited for her hehe. i'm going to make her and henry hunt down hot guys for me. *winks*

blah this sounds super gay... i want a boyfriend -_-"". i think its the after result of watching meteor garden >_<"". but somewhere deep inside i know it's just an unrealistic relationship, something written in a manga, something in a tv series. but it just reminds me of what relationships COULD be. i think adro and ness has the best one right now XDD. they've slowly grown through their relationship and have come to learn to love each other more than ever ^_^. it's cho sweet.

where's my prince on a white horse ROFL.

my standards have grown a lot for guys. i guess thats complimentary to them because i expect them to be able to achieve those things ROFL. so i think they're better than they really are -_-"".

and in admist everything despite the randomness, i love sisi z. i like her blogs XDD. its easy to read and is funny and <3. *chu* i love that girl.

my msn list is sad. i have 11 people online -_-"". where the fuck is everyone. oh i know wenxi playing blardy ro like her life depends on it X_X"". BUT WHERE THE MOFO ARE THE REST OF THEM ?! i guess i'm the only one with no life who sits in front of the computer in the holidays. this is my fucking worse holidays ever.

oh THANKS for everyone who welcomed me back ^_^. *CHU* love you alls.